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He's standingdownstairs now talking to my mother waiting for me. What have I gottenmyself into? It was only a little over a year ago that I first walkeddown the stairs to face my father, the first man in my life, with medressed as a girl. Now tonight I would soon be walking down those samestairs to come face to face with another enormous challenge, my firstdate with a boy. I remember how stupid I felt last year when my fatherfirst saw me dressed as a girl. A year ago I was a scared, unconfidentchild dressed in an almost puritanical little girl dress, all sugar andspice, complete with those white pantyhose and those stupid shoes Mommade me wear. What a sight I must have been. A lot sure has happened this past year. And I knew the next year would befull of changes and surprises as well. Tonight as I gazed at myself inthe mirror very little of that young, self-conscious little girlremained. Tonight I looked older, more mature, and more confident. Istill looked my age but not in a. Ven though I was a football lineman in high school and then at a smallcollege, I always knew I had an urge for womens clothes and beingsubmissive. I recall having thoughts of being in a cage in my parentsback yard as my friends played hide and seek. I used to snitch stuff andthen go into the woods to an abandon house to dress up. The risk of beingfound and used was such a rush.But there was one Halloween - I was probably 16 or 17, I mustered up thecourage to go out trick or treating. My conservative family was amazed atmy appearance chuckled and took pictures. But out I went with my friends- the skirt made it feel so nice in the chilly weather - but the topperwas when I knocked on the door of an apt and a stud opened the door andgave me a long lusting look- over. He invited me in saying I would be histrick and get a real treat. While I ran away - it always stuck that Iwas a fairly decent looking female, even if tall. Was I a better femalethan male, even then I didn't lust for T&A,.
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